


Beyond the Curtain

by princesslexi763



Category: Jacksepticeye RPF, Markiplier RPF, Youtuber RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Stripper/Exotic Dancer, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Depression, Escort Service, First Crush, First Love, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-26
Updated: 2016-04-26
Packaged: 2018-06-03 21:50:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6627889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princesslexi763/pseuds/princesslexi763
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mark Fishbach has always had a crush on the bad ass punk by the name of Sean McLoughlin. So with a chance encounter at a high school party, Mark thinks he's making his way into the realm that is Sean. However, the circumstances change and after graduation, Sean gets married and moves far away. Mark completes college and is working a full time job when he runs into Sean in the most random place--a male strip club.<br/>Or--<br/>AU where Mark has had a crush on Sean since high school and runs into Sean, who works as a performer and an escort at the local strip club, after six years and instantly feels his crush flare back to life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beyond the Curtain

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to go ahead and say that if you all are wondering where my other two stories are, it is because this one has consumed my life for the past month. I got the idea after my best friend and i started talking about how we would need to become strippers to get through college and wow, this totally happened. Starting to write it, it came to life so fast that it's become my new baby. Now, this a really long one shot but I will be willing to maybe do a sequel if it's highly requested. Now, i wanted to also make it clear that the way i portrayed some of the characters is not at all how i believe they are. It's only for dramatic effect and all it should remain to be. Also, i have no personal experience with escorting or anything to that effect but i was reading articles online that helped me with the layout of this. Lastly, I'm always open to suggestions for new stories and if it's requested enough, i may even write some little one shots on my tumblr and post them there. If you like the idea of that, get ahold of @princesslexi763. So, with nothing else to say, please enjoy my newest piece. Also--i feel like i should get bonus points for actually writing a story with no supernatural elements. Happy reading! :)

I fell in love with a boy named Sean exactly six years ago today.

          The first day I ever saw him was my first day in my new high school at the beginning of freshman year. He was the same age as me but I’ll be damned if I ever talked to him. He wasn’t someone that you could just go up and say ‘Hi’ to. Even at the age of prepubescent 14, he was one bad ass mother fucker. He wore all black, bracelets up and down his wrists, gauges in his ears, and eyeliner that barely lined his eyes. From what I saw, he smoked cigarettes and drank whenever he could. And most people would be appalled by that but I was really attracted to it.

          As time went on, he changed slightly. He was no longer that bad ass punk that he once was. Now, he was just a ‘punk’. His favorite clothing was a leather jacket with a white shirt underneath and a pair of black skinny jeans with boots. He died his hair green and well…he was that much more attractive in my eyes.

          Our senior year of high school, I was still the self-proclaimed nerd who got picked on and he was still the punk of the high school. But then we found ourselves at the same party. I went with my friends Wade and Bob and soon enough, he consumed a fair amount of alcohol into my blood stream.

          Little did I know, Sean did the same and he was stumbling around the party with a red cup in his hand. But he didn’t look the same. He was wearing a sweatshirt with boot cut jeans and a pair of sneakers. He also had his hair just kind of lying there and he looked like a normal high school teenager. He looked just like—well, us…

          As I was walked to the bathroom where I was going to relieve myself, I cracked the door open and walked inside, letting it shut behind me. I unzipped my pants and went to begin when I heard a sob coming from the bathtub. I jumped backwards and shrieked as I tore the curtain open and I noticed a curled up Sean just lying there, crying. He had his knees hugged up to his chest and tears running down his cheeks.

          “Sean?” I asked with slight astonishment in my voice, “Are you okay?”

          He looked up at me and I’ve never seen a pair of blue eyes sadder than his at that very moment. His body shuddered and he went back to his sobbing before answering me.

          In my drunken stupor, my confidence was increased further than ever before and so I went to ask him again, “Sean, I know we’ve never talked before but I’m worried about you.”

          He looked up at me again and let go of his legs. He sat up slightly and wiped his eyes, swallowing slightly, “I’m sorry you have to see me like this.” He said in a hoarse voice, “And to answer you, no, I’m not okay right now.”

          “Do you want to—“

          “I don’t even know you and you’re interrogating me like I’m a criminal.” He said with a sniffle, “I don’t need your assistance.” He began to stand up but the alcohol in his system got the better of him and he stumbled back down. Letting out a defeated sigh, he said, “Have you ever been cheated on?”

          I shook my head.

          He let out a scoff, “Well, it fucking sucks.” He said with choke in his voice, “It’s even worse when you walk in on them cheating on you and you can’t even do anything to stop it.”

          I watched as another tear rolled down his cheek and choked out a sob, “I’m so sorry.” I said, not knowing what else to say. I was never one that was good with words, “I can’t even imagine.”

          He shook his head, “It’s time like these where I say to myself, ‘why me?’ I never can catch a break with anything.”

          “I’m sure you’ve had some positive things happen in your life.” I said back, knowing how cheesy it sounded once it was out in the air but how great it sounded it my head.

          He laughed and shook his head, “You don’t even know, man.” He scooted to the side and pat the porcelain next to him, “You might as well sit down.”

          Hesitating, I took a moment before climbing over the edge and sitting down next to him, having to hug my knees to my chest to fit. As we sat there in a drunken awkward silence, he said, “You know, I don’t even know your name.”

          “Mark.”

          “Oh, well, sorry that we had our first conversation this way, Mark.” He said leaning his head back against the wall, “I don’t even know what I’m going to do.”

          “What do you mean?” I asked, looking at him.

          “About my relationship.” He said with a whisper, “I—I can’t just end it because of this. I love them.”

          “But you don’t deserve to be in a relationship with someone who cheats on you.” I said back, “No one deserves that.”

          “Yeah, but when they’re the one who you’ve been with for two years and how you’ve learned to love…you just can’t give that up that easily.” He said struggling with the words as they began to slur together.

          “I wouldn’t know that feeling.” I said looking down at my knees.

          “And why is that?” he asked softly.

          “I’ve never been in a relationship.”

          “Never?”

          “Never.”

          He cocked his eyebrow up and stared at me, “But…you’re in high school and you’ve never dated someone?”

          “No,” I said shrugging my shoulders, “I’ve never had anyone show interest in me. I’m not exactly prize winning material.”

          “That’s not true.” He whispered, “I don’t think that.”

          And then he started leaning closer and closer until he crashed his lips on my own but it was just a horrible kiss that I couldn’t even enjoy it. Teeth clanked and lips clashed and it wasn’t how I envisioned my first kiss. But I blame that on us both being drunk and well—yeah, drunk.

          He pulled back, whispered the word ‘sorry’, and then proceeded to pass out next to me as I was left sitting there wondering what the hell just happened.

          The next morning, I woke up in a lawn chair on the deck of the party with a group of people around me. My head was pounding and I knew instantly that I was in for one hell of a hangover.

          That was also the time that the night before had flashed into my head as I realized what the hell had happened. Sean McLoughlin had kissed me. He had actually kissed me and it made me so anxious because I didn’t know if he was gay or bisexual or just drunk off his ass and upset from what he saw. But he kissed me.

          I thought everything would change between us after that night but nothing did. We never spoke at school. Never made eye contact. We never even talked when we saw each other in public. When I tried speaking to him, he looked at me like I was a leech. Of course it hurt but did it bother me? Not much because it’s not like he noticed me much anyway before our incident.

          But there was one thing that was sure—I was in love with Sean.

          That kiss, that talk with him, it set off something in my head and yeah—I was in love with him.

          But I knew the feeling would never be returned when on graduation day, I saw him walk off hand in hand with a gorgeous blonde female that I’d never seen before. Which made me feel even more like the kiss he gave me was just in a drunken state.

          As far as I know, he never went to college and he moved far away from our little city. He also married that blonde chick he walked off with and I later found out, by constant social media stalking, that her name was Signe and she was Danish.

          The last thing I ever expected was to see him again. I’d thought that I’d never see his face again in my life but—as they say—everything happens for a reason.

          ***

          **August 31 st**

          Don’t ask me how and do not ask me why, but tonight, I was walking into a Gentleman’s Club—or in a broader context, a gay strip club. Now, this was not by choice, rather because I was invited here and I had nothing better to do apparently on a Friday night.

          My best friend Felix demanded that I check it out with him and a few other of _his_ friends: I didn’t know any of them. I was reluctant at first but when they brought up how I needed to get out of my house more and enjoy life, I had agreed.

          My last break up a few months back was really harsh on me and now I was left with a house, a dog, and a job that worked long hours. I certainly had too much time to myself and ultimately, not even enough of that. I spent my days working a 9-5 job as an engineering manager and yeah, it paid exceptionally well, but it wasn’t something I wanted to do anymore. A few years ago, when I began this job straight out of college, I loved it. It was my dream job but I can’t even say that anymore.

          It’s what ended my relationship too.

          I’m bisexual and have proclaimed myself as much after experiencing both males and females. What I’m getting at is that my last relationship was with a female and I was fully expecting to marry her but my job got in the way. I was never home, I kept forgetting important dates: the worst being our one year anniversary. What was the ultimate downfall was when I started working overtime more and then when I’d come home, I’d go right to sleep, leaving her sitting there on the couch with an annoyed expression. Our sex life failed miserably and became so infrequent that when it did happen, it was over so quickly that it wasn’t even worth the effort.

          I came home one day to a long letter on my counter and all of her stuff moved out and…I can’t blame her. I would’ve left myself too.

          So, according to Felix, maybe it was my time to try and find a guy to be with. But I didn’t know if I was ready. I was also a firm believer of love at first sight so I wasn’t specifically looking for a gender, I was just looking for something I could look at and say, ‘hey, I like you!’

          I knew I was _not_ going to find that at a Strip Club with men all around who are used to being seduced and sexed up. Not my type of place.

          But yet again, here I am, getting an X on my hand with red marker to indicate that I’m over 21. I nodded my head at the bouncer and looked up once more at the Neon sign over my head, _The Devils Paradise Gentleman’s Club_. I don’t know if that was supposed to be irony to the whole ‘gay people go to hell thing’ but I found it quite ironic. Taking a deep breath, I walked inside and breathed in the smell of cigarette smoke and sex in the air.

          Looking around, it was hard to see everything with the dim lights but one thing was for certain: I did _not_ belong here. There were guys in barely any clothes rubbing up against and giving lap dances to other men. To my left, two guys were practically having sex in a booth and two my right, was a stage with a very prominent and shiny silver pole in the center.

          Once again, I did not belong here. I made a mistake.

          I was ready to turn around and head out of club when my name was called, “Mark! Over here.”

          Oh, they found me….what a shame.

          I turned and saw Felix sitting in a booth with two other guys around him. They had a tray of drinks sitting on the table and some empty shot glasses, “Hey, guys.” I said walking over to them and scooting into the booth.

          “So, are you excited for tonight?” Felix asked nudging me.

          I shrugged my shoulders, “Um…no, not really.” I said being honest as I rubbed the back of my neck.

          He scoffed, “Pssht, here, just drink a few of these and loosen up a bit.”

          He pushed a few of the drinks towards me and I thought, ‘well, it can’t make things any worse’ and took a few sips of the first one. The amount of potent alcohol in it is was insane as it burned my throat on the way done. I nearly coughed as I realized that this was like, 80 proof alcohol and I’d be gone with just a few drinks of this.

          “Anybody want a round of shots?” Felix asked raising his hand slightly, “I’ll buy.”

          The other two guys, who I have not been introduced to yet, cheered and pushed for the drinks but I personally didn’t want to partake. I wasn’t totally okay with shitfaced tonight.

          Felix rose his hand higher and flagged down a waiter who walked over quickly to our table with his face to the floor. The top of his hair was green and when he walked closer, I realized that he was wearing tight black leather pants with a pair of rainbow suspenders and a green bowtie that went around his neck, “Excuse me…?”

          “Jack.” The waiter said in a soft voice as he looked up.

          I was barely paying any attention to him until I saw his face. He had striking blue eyes and was wearing glasses that easily fit the ‘nerd persona’.

          “Jack, can you get us a round of shots?”

          “Is that all, Sir?” He asked in a soft voice.

          Felix looked around at us and nodded his head, “Yeah, seems so.”

          Jack faked a smile on his face and turned on his heels towards the bar. As I kept the picture of his face in my head, I couldn’t help but realize how familiar he looked. Maybe I’d seen him walking around somewhere. Or was he the guy who worked at the coffee shop I go to sometimes? I don’t know, I don’t pay attention.

          “Cute kid.” Felix said nudging me, “He looks innocent. Wonder why he’s in here?”

          I shrugged my shoulders, “Everyone has a past that they’re trying to cover.”

          As we all sat there, I finished my first drank and when a different waiter came back with a tray of shots, I quickly declined. Felix wasn’t happy about that but I didn’t care.

          The music changed fast. It became sultry but still upbeat in a way that grabbed your attention. Felix grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the booth, saying something along the lines of that the show is about to start. I didn’t know what he meant until we were sitting in the chairs directly in front of the stage.

          I smoothed my hair back and felt myself sweat with nerves at how out of place I felt. This was not for me. This was not somewhere that I felt comfortable. I wanted to leave and just go before anything else happened.

          But then, a speaker came over the place and I heard cheering all around me as all the chairs quickly filled and men began pulling out their wallets. I pulled out mine too, although I was ashamed to say that I didn’t have any money to really throw on the stage if it got to that point. I did have a credit card though but I doubt that had any affect here.

          “ _Who here is ready for the first performer?”_

          Everyone began to cheer and whistle again and strobe lights starting flashing around the stage. I felt lost as a curtain opened and there was a puff of smoke. That’s when I saw him. Jack, the same Jack that had just took our order, was walking so confidently onto the stage. He had such a sexy and sultry confidence over his body that it was hard to take your eyes off from him.

          _“Many of you regulars here know that Jack is the most acclaimed performer here. So, without further adieu, show us what you got there!”_

I can’t even describe to you the level of…I don’t even know honestly. He exuberated so much energy that it was so impossible to not watch him as he unbuttoned his pants and lowered himself to the stage floor, crawling as money was flying to him. He looked so erotic that it made me even feel arousal that made me feel like a horny schoolgirl. I adjusted the collar on my button up shirt as my neck began to expand from the sweat. Felix looked over at me and laughed as he saw my reaction.

          Then suddenly, Jack’s hand was reaching for me—yes, for me. He grabbed the front of my shirt and I was yanked forward, chair and all, as I felt his breath on my face. I shut my eyes and reveled in the feeling as I felt his body become lowered on mine and his hips grinded into my own. He was giving me a lap dance.

          I wasn’t familiar to the rules of this. I didn’t know what my limits were but they quickly became apparent and I lowered my hands to his hips and felt his body tense and flinch. When I opened my eyes, I was able to look directly into his own.

          And it suddenly became obvious. Where I knew that he was familiar to me. How I knew him before. Because he knew it too. He exited my lap, leaving a lasting impression on my skin as he climbed onto the stage and worked his way over to the pole. Except, I never saw that next part of his performance because I was already out the door of the club, calling an Uber on my phone.

          Because that performer—Jack—was the Sean McLoughlin that I had fallen in love with when I was eighteen.

          My hands were shaking and I was barely able to keep my composure. I also probably just made some huge scene in there and was probably being talked about as I stood here.

          Felix ran up behind me, “Dude, what the fuck? It was just an innocent lap dance?”

          “That’s not it.” I said frustrated from a combination of arousal and realization, “It’s something a lot more.”

          “What?” Felix asked throwing his hands up, “Is he like an ex or something?”

          I shook my head and my Uber pulled up next to me at the curb, “No, not quite.” I answered as I opened the door to the black car and got inside, telling the driver where my house was located.

          I just needed to get home and think about things over again.     

          The drive home went by quickly. I honestly didn’t even know that I was already at my house until I was being told that we were. I thanked my driver and got out, feeling the cool breeze against my hot skin. I looked up my driveway at my big empty house. It just spilled loneliness.

          I walked up to the front door and unlocked it with shaky hands. Walking inside, the constant reminder of a broken home was in place. The clock read a little after eleven and I felt pathetic about how tonight had gone.

          But honestly, I couldn’t believe that that had happened.

          Sean and I were both from Cincinnati. It’s where we both went to school together. How coincidental is that we both ended up in Los Angeles after all these years? Better yet, why the hell was a married straight man working as a performer in a gay club? Maybe it was to make some extra money?

          Going into my bedroom, I stripped off my clothing and remained in my boxer shorts, slipping on a baggy shirt to cover my chest. Chica, my dog, greeted me in the doorway with her tail wagging back and forth. I walked over to her and rubbed her head, talking to her about how strange my night had gone.

          My phone dinged in my hand and I jumped slightly before reading the message.

          **Felix:** _So, that dancer that gave you lap dance, he came over to us after his show was done and asked where you went. He referred to you by name. How do you know him?_

**Mark:** _It’s a really long story, okay…I don’t want to get into it right now._

**Felix:** _Okay, man, I won’t pry. But I demand details at some point._

          I sighed and ran my hands through my hair again, tugging a little as I groaned out loud. Chica whimpered at my feet and I looked down at her, sighing.

          Heading out to my living room, I took a seat on my couch and propped my legs up on the coffee table as I grabbed my laptop. I was feeling a little bit of a buzz from the drinks I had but I was nowhere near drunk. Yet, I still ended up on Sean’s Facebook page.

          Which I didn’t understand because his profile picture was of him and his so called wife and according to his timeline, it was changed yesterday to that. And according to his information, it said he was married still. But that totally just happened tonight and I knew I wasn’t dreaming it.

          Something is going on and I don’t know how to react.

          Chica cuddled into my side and I felt the heat of her fur onto my skin. My phone buzzed again next to me and I closed my laptop screen down as grabbed my phone in my hand. Looking at the message, I sighed:

          **Felix:** _Jack wanted me to tell you that he wished you had stayed so he could talk to you._

A few moments later, another text came through.

          **Lauren:** _I’ll be over at eight tomorrow morning to pick up the remaining items. My apartment was finally approved and I can move in. Can you make sure everything is in order before I get there?_

          Not replying to either, I dropped my head to the back of my couch and shut my eyes, feeling myself drift into a sleep as I let my body try and relax from the events of tonight.

          ***

          I crawled into my bed at around three in the morning once I awoke form the short power sleep I took on the couch. Snuggling into my own bed, I couldn’t help but feel an intense loneliness. It’s been two months and I miss the feeling of having another human being sleeping next to me. I miss the companionship. Chica snuggled into me and I smiled into her fur.

          I wasn’t so lonely after all.

          I woke up exactly at eight when I heard movement outside of my bedroom. Padding my feet on the floor and shuffling across the room, I opened the door to see Lauren picking up and moving boxes towards the door.

          “Oh, thanks for just coming inside.” I said with a grainy voice.

          “Yeah, well, you weren’t answering the doorbell so I figured I could make my way inside and you wouldn’t mind.” She flipped her long dark hair over his shoulder and adjusted her sunglasses on the top of her head as they began to slip down, “Speaking of which, I texted you to have everything ready for me and nothing is ready.” She paused for a second and then said, “I also let Chica out so don’t forget about her.” 

          “I was busy last night.” I said furrowing my eyebrows.

          “Yeah, okay, Mr. ‘I go to bed at eight’.”

          “Lauren…”

          “Mark, just stop.” She said putting her hand up to stop my speaking, “Enough, okay? This is the exact reason why we didn’t work out. You can never do a simple task to help me out. I asked you to simply get my things together and you cannot even do that.”

          I rolled my eyes and folded my hands over my chest, “Fine, whatever. Can you just get your stuff and leave? If you need me, I’ll be having a cup of coffee.”

          I headed past her in the living room and pushed past the door into the kitchen where I began to get the ingredients to prepare my coffee for the morning. I may not have drank much I certainly am feeling a few slight remnants of it. I’ve never been good with tolerating alcohol but I blame that on the Korean side of my heritage.

          After a few more minutes of what sounded like banging and movements, I grabbed my cup and headed out. My living room was once again emptier than before and I couldn’t help but feel the tang of loneliness strike again.

          She stood in the doorway of the front door and had her arms crossed over her chest as she looked around, her brows furrowing. I took a sip and looked at her, almost as if I was telepathically saying, ‘can you leave yet?’

          Without warning, she walked over to me and pressed a kiss to my cheek before engulfing me in a hug, “I really do care about you, Mark.” She said softly, “But we just can’t work anymore. And I want you to know that this is hurting me too. And hopefully, it’ll get better with time, for us both. You deserve someone besides me and I dare say the same for myself. Take care, Mark. I don’t know when I’ll see you next.”

          Her hand rested on my arm longer than intended and when it was gone, I missed the warmth of her. Looking down at where her hand was once placed, I subconsciously put my own hand there. As she turned around and headed out of the house, I couldn’t help but notice that she had a stray tear running down her cheek and she was sniffling.

          I loved her—I really did. And it hurt to see her go. But, she was right. We needed to start fresh with our lives and if we’re together, we can’t do what we want to do. We’re just holding each other back.

          When the door closed, it was like the end of a chapter.

          But also the beginning of a new one as I began to think about Sean again.

          As my coffee ran cold, I walked over to the sliding glass doors that led to the outside and led Chica back inside. She ran in happily and I reached down and patted her head. She was a good dog. Heading back to the couch, I opened my laptop and found that Sean’s profile was still up on my computer. Looking at it again, I couldn’t help but confirm to myself that who I saw last night was definitely him. From the green hair, to the blue eyes, to that face I couldn’t ever forget—it was for sure him. There was no doubt about it.

          I went up to the top of the page and refreshed his profile. But I was quickly taken aback as I realized his picture was changed to just a selfie of himself. Scrolling down the page, I saw that it said he had changed it less than three hours ago. But, to my own dismay, it read he was still married.

          Wait—I shouldn’t be upset about that.

He’s married. End of question. But then, why is at the club working? There are so many questions to be answered that my head swam.

Keeping on my laptop, I logged onto my work profile and decided to get ahead on some of the reports I needed to finish for next week, deciding that this was the easiest way to get my mind off from Sean.

Sadly, that took up most of my day before I realized the time. The first time I looked at my clock, it was going for three pm and I was getting extremely hungry after not eating all day. The only reasonable solution that I could even think of at this time was to go to the local market and pick myself up something quick.

Setting my laptop down and shutting it off, I let Chica back out to the lawn to run around and go the bathroom as I walked into my room and changed into a pair of jeans and red flannel—my favorite outfit. Picking up my cell phone and pushing it into my pocket, I let Chica back in and grabbed my car keys as I headed out the door.

Driving to my local Wholesale shop, I figured I could just pick up a quick premade meal and be on my way. But of course, it was not going to be that easy. I had a hard time finding a parking spot and then once I had, I was so frustrated that I thought about aborting the mission of getting food and just stopping for some greasy pizza somewhere. But, nevertheless, I parked anyway and headed inside.

I made a beeline for the food section and when I got there, I couldn’t help but notice a man standing there with his hood up from the back. He was wearing a bright blue sweatshirt and a pair of dark washed jeans with high top sneakers. It was an interesting mix if I’m being honest. I would never wear it.

I walked up beside them and noticed the meal that I wanted was directly in front of him, “Excuse me, I just need to—“

          He turned to the side and pushed his hood down.

          And well, there he was. Sean.

          “Sean…”

          “Mark…”

          He pushed his hair slightly off his forehead but it fell back over his glasses. He looked a lot less confident then he did last night, “How is it now that we are just _now_ running into each other?” He asked with a slight harshness to his tone.

          “I guess fate never wanted us to reunite.” I said crossing my arms over my chest.

          “Well, you saw me last night in my most vulnerable state.” He said with a smirk.   

          “I don’t know about that.” I said with a smirk back, “That one night in high school where you were wasted in the bath tub was a close second at least.”

          He hit his forehead, “Oh my lord, I forgot about that.” He said with a laugh.

          “So, Jack, huh?” I asked.

          “It’s a stage name. No one is supposed to know my real name for confidentiality reasons. Some of my clients get really attached to me.”

          “Your clients?” I asked confused, “I thought you were a stripper.”

          “I’m not a stripper—I’m a performer,” he said softly, whispering more so that no one around could hear us, “And I’m an escort.”

          “An escort?” I asked, not knowing what that meant.

          He shook his head and waved it off, “Never mind, let it go. I don’t wanna discuss this in public.”

          “Want to come over to my place?” I asked suddenly, “I live in a giant house by myself and it gets lonely sometimes.”

          He shrugged, “I would but I need to get home. I have to work tonight.”

          “Oh, yeah,” I said, “I saw that you’re married now. How’s everyth—“

          “ _Was_ married.” He said stopping me, “Our divorce is being finalized. We’re still living together but its separate bedrooms, no sex, no talking, all that jazz.”

          Oh, I know that feeling.

          “I’m sorry if a brought up a sore subject.”

          He shook his head and shrugged his shoulders again, “It’s not a sore subject anymore. We filed for divorce six months ago, just took a while for the lawyers to get everything situated.”

          “I’m sorry.” I repeated.

          He smirked back, “Don’t be, honestly. It was a shotgun wedding for personal reasons and when that didn’t work how we planned, it all fell apart.”

          He picked up his meal and I picked up mine in a moment of silence and we just stood there and stared at the floor. Finally, he checked the time on his watch and said, “I need to get going. But don’t become a stranger okay?”

          “That’s easy for you to say.” I said a lot harsher than I had intended, “After the incident in high school, you acted like I never existed.”

          “Mark, that was six years ago. People change. It’s in the past and now I’m saying that we shouldn’t be strangers.” He fished his phone out of his pocket and handed it to me, “Here, put your number in and we’ll keep in touch. I work Monday through Friday at the bookstore in town and then Thursday through Saturday, I work as an escort and a performer at night. Maybe we can meet in the middle and find a day to hang out and catch up.”

          I took a deep breath and grabbed his phone, putting my number into a contact and saving it, “Okay,” I said with a smile, “We’ll keep in touch.”

          He smiled at me once more before slipping his phone back into his pocket and walking away towards the register.

          There is something about Sean that has changed. He’s not the bad ass mother fucker that he used to be. He’s softened a lot. He doesn’t even sound or look like the same person anymore.

          Maybe time really _can_ change a person.

          Feeling all sorts of emotions that I couldn’t describe, I pushed my hair back and let it fall through my fingers as I headed to the cash registers myself and paid for my food. Heading out to my car, I got inside and drove away on the five minute drive home.

          I noticed that the clouds in the city were getting darker and it looked like it was going to start raining soon so I tried my best to hurry up and get home before Chica began to tear up the furniture in a panic from the sound of water hitting the roof.

          Getting stuck in a small bought of traffic, sprinkles appeared on my window and I groaned as I turned on my windshield wipers quickly to move the drops off from the glass. As the traffic moved more on the busy side street, I looked to my right and saw the familiar blue sweatshirt walking with their hood up on the sidewalk. Signaling, I pulled out of traffic onto the shoulder of the road and opened my window, “Sean?” He turned his head and edged near my car, “Do you need a ride?”

          He shook his head, “No, my apartment is right down here.”

          The rain started to come down harder outside and I heard thunder in the distance, “It’s raining, I can drive the two miles up the road, or however long it takes, in no time.”

          He shook his head again, “No, I’ll walk.”

          “Sean, I’m being serious. You stay out in the rain and the cold, you’re going to get sick.”

          “No, really I am fine.” He said turning around and continuing his walking, “Thank you though.” He called behind him.

          Sighing, I decided to just let him go and continuing walking. I pulled back onto the now seemingly vacant road and drove onward, turning onto my own road and going back to my house.

          Pulling into my driveway, I noticed Felix’s car was sitting on the side of the road next to the curb and he was sitting on the steps along with our mutual friend Ken. When I got out of my car, I grabbed my bag that had my food and stepped out. They both looked up at me and Felix spoke first, “Finally! Where have you been? We texted you two hours ago saying that we were coming over later for video game night.”

          I nearly face palmed myself as I realized how I had forgotten our Saturday night tradition that was we circulated around each of our places and played video games for a few hours.

          “Shit, sorry. I’ve had a lot of things on my mind.” I said rubbing the back of my neck. I pushed through them and unlocked the door, inviting them in.

          Chica greeted us at the doorway, her tail wagging. Felix bent down and rubbed her face as she licked the side of his face.

          “So, about last—“

          “How is Mary doing, Ken?” I asked quickly changing the subject away from Felix. Ken shrugged his shoulders.

          “She’s fine. She talked with Lauren the other night and they’re planning a day to hang out together. Speaking of which, how are you doing buddy?” He asked laying a hand on my shoulder, “I know the break up blindsided you.”

          I sighed, “It hurt worse when she moved out.” I replied dropping my food off at the table I had sitting in the corner of the living room, “But she’s right about why she left.”

          Felix sat himself down on my couch and we all followed suit. I sat down across from them in the chair and cross one leg over the other, “Why did she leave you?” Felix asked, “You never told us.”

          “It was work.” I said, “She said I focused too much on working and not on having fun with her or doing things with her. And, well, she’s right.”

          “That’s why we’ve been trying to help you out, man.” Felix said, “Now, don’t avoid the question anymore, who is Jack and how did you know him? He was getting pretty friendly with you last night.”

          “Jack?” I asked with a cocked eyebrow, “Felix, I don’t want to—“

          “Don’t ignore this, I demand the details.”

          I bent over in the chair slightly and rubbed my eyes, “Jack and I went to high school together.”

          Felix started laughing and when I looked up, Ken had a confused look on his face. At least Ken didn’t know what was going on.

          “Is that all?” Felix asked, “That’s all you know him by?”

          “No,” I said softly, “We had an encounter at a party when we were eighteen and drunk and we kissed. And I may or may not have had a total school boy crush on him for the longest time.”

          “Why didn’t you guys ever keep in touch?”

          I sighed again, “He ignored me, acted like I wasn’t even a person. I’d talk with him and he’d shun me away like a leech. I got used to being ignored by him. Then he started dating this gorgeous girl and they got married and that was the end. I met Lauren shortly after and all of that flew out of the window temporarily.”

          Ken leaned forward, “Well, what about now? Why is he working at a strip club?”

          I shrugged my shoulders, “Who knows?” I lied, “Hard times come with desperate measures.”

          Felix just laughed it off, “Man, that’s an interesting combination. We should had back to the club next weekend. Maybe you can meet up with Jack again.”

          “No!” I said rather quickly, “No, I—I’d rather not.” I paused momentarily and then said, “Who wants to set up Mario Kart as I go eat my dinner?”

          And the conversation was left at that for a while.

          ***

          Felix and Ken left at around eleven and I was left once again alone with Chica. We had a couple drinks when they were here and we had enjoyed playing the video games. But I still missed having company here.

          I was getting ready to turn on my TV and binge watch the next season of _House of Cards_ on Netflix when my phone buzzed next to me and instinctively looked at it.

          **+14398885676:** _Hey, it’s Sean. The club is dead tonight, wanna swing by? Maybe we can have a conversation_.

          I quickly saved his number to my contacts and reread the message again. The club dead? On a Saturday night? That’s odd. Also, I wasn’t sure that I wanted to ‘swing by’ the club just to talk to him.

          **Mark:** _Maybe_

**Sean:** _You wanted me to come over earlier so why don’t you just meet me here? I need another client before the night is over and you’re my only hope._

Woah! Client? What the fuck? No, no! I was not going to a club to be a client to someone who needed to make his quota. A few moments later, another text came through.

          **Sean:** _What I mean is that you can be my ‘client’ and we can finally talk and catch up._

**Mark:** _I’m not so sure…_

**Sean:** _Please?_

**Mark:** _Fine._

Sean sent me back a smiley face emoji after that. I couldn’t believe that I was agreeing to this. I didn’t even want to step foot into that club again and here I am, willingly going to be someone’s client.

          This could go really bad, really fast.

          Dressing back into the clothing I was wearing earlier, I quickly grabbed my phone and my keys and headed out the door, thinking about why the hell I was doing this.

          I drove to the club and realized that he was right: there wasn’t a single car around the club. I thought that was suspicious. But quickly upon walking inside, I realized that I was dead wrong and he had lied to me.

          The club was packed with people and it was really hard for me to wind my away around the crowds. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Sean who was sitting on the edge of the stage by himself, not talking or making eye contact with anyone around him. He looked hurt, like something had happened to him.

          I walked up to him and he looked up, “I thought you said it was dead tonight and you couldn’t find another client? Whatever that means.”

          “I’m sorry I had to lie but I really just wanted someone to talk to and I kind of turned you down earlier on your offer so I thought you could just come here instead.” He stood up and grabbed my arm lightly, “Come on, let’s head back to my room.”

          “Your room?” I asked furrowing my brows.

          He turned slightly and smiled, “I have my own VIP room here. Believe it or not, I’m the most prized escort. Everyone wants me but I _do_ have standards.”

          “You’re going to have to explain this whole escort thing because I really do not know what you’re talking about.”

          He just laughed and pulled me through a set of black velvet curtains to a hallway of rooms. I thought that this was odd. I wasn’t expecting to be taken to the VIP rooms of a club and especially not with the high school crush that I was just being reunited with.

          We walked all the way down the hallway to the last room on the right with the name, _Jack S_ , gold plated on the door. He opened the handle and I was brought into a room that took your breath away. There was a canopy bed with silk sheets and dim red lighting. He had a dresser on the side with a mirror over the top and really, the rest I couldn’t explain because it was so incredible. It was like a scene out of a movie.

          “So, this is my room.” He said shutting the door behind us.

          “Okay, so, can you explain all of this?” I asked motioning with my hands, “What is this?”

          He took a deep breath, “Can we start with the beginning? As in, that night at Steven Adler’s party?” He took a seat on the bed and I sat down next to him, ignoring that fact that I was on a bed in the back of a strip club, “I was an asshole in high school,” He began, “Like, a straight up dick. I had a rough upbringing and I just took that out on everyone. But that night at that party, everything got reverted back to myself in a form of karma and I walked in on my boyfriend cheating on me with a chick I’d never seen before.”

          “Hold up,” I said interrupting him, “Your boyfriend?”  
          He nodded, “Yeah, I had a boyfriend. Given that we hadn’t been together for very long but yeah, I had a boyfriend. I’m bisexual.” He said with a smirk, “Anyway, I was really fucking drunk that night—really fucking drunk—but I knew what I was doing. So I kissed you, for some reason freaked the fuck out, and I never wanted to look at you again. I was an asshole.”

          I just nodded my head as I internalized all of the information, then he continued, “Right before graduation, I had a one night stand with this girl I met at the park with my own friends. The one night stand turned into a full blown relationship and then Signe dropped the bomb on me that she was pregnant. I don’t even know what the hell I was going to do at that point because I was trying really hard to go to college and she herself was working two jobs on her own to support us both and we both knew that we needed to do something. So with the advice of her and I’s parents, we had a shot gun wedding.” He said sadly, “And I was stupid for doing so because it turns of she was never pregnant. It was all a rouse to get me to stay with her. It all went downhill really fast. We’ve been married for five years but it’s done and over. I don’t consider myself married anymore but for the sake of her family, who doesn’t know yet, we have kept up the image that we are until it’s finalized by our lawyers. I also only have about three months left before our divorce is finalized and I have to find a new place to live which brings me to why I work here.”

          “I know the feeling of having a failed relationship.” I said sadly, “My own just ended a few months ago and it’s taken a really big toll on me. Lauren and I had just bought a big house and we have a pet and we were talking about marriage and we were happy and it all ended pretty unexpectedly.”

          He looked down and laughed slightly, “I guess we both have pretty fucked up histories when it comes to relationships.”

          “What brings you here though?” I said, “Like, what is this whole escort thing?”

          He took a deep breath and shut his eyes from a moment as if to mentally prepare himself, “So, I’m an escort.”

          “Yeah, I know that but what does that mean?”

          “Men pay for me to have sex with them.”

          I jumped up from the bed, instantly feeling dirty after sitting on it knowing what could happen on those sheets, “Wait…what!”

          “Do not be alarmed okay?” he said standing up, “Before you say whatever you’re thinking, I need to clear things up. I am _not_ a prostitute. I am _not_ a whore. I am _not_ a slut. It’s mostly wealthy guys who are lonely and need a way to get off.”

          “So is that what you meant by Clients?” I asked softly, “They’re the guys who pay to sleep with you?”

          “Basically, yeah, but it’s not like that.” He said with panic in his voice, “I don’t want you to think any different of me. At night, this is who I am, but during the day, I’m just Sean. I’m just a bisexual man going through a harsh divorce who needed a good paying job to make ends meet.”

          “So how much is this going to cost me then?” I asked slightly annoyed, “Five thousand? Ten thousand?”

          “No!” He said holding his hand up, “Nothing like that. My rates depend on what I do. Since we’re just talking, it won’t cost you much.”

          “Did you expect me to do something with you tonight?” I asked harshly, “Did you only call me because you figured I could be a rebound for you?”

          I felt his expression change and he quickly stopped me, “Mark, please! It’s not like that.”

          I turned on my heels and was ready to walk out of the door when I felt his hand on my shoulder and he turned me around. He had a stray tear running down his cheek and his eye’s read sadness, “Mark, I wasn’t treated okay tonight by one of my clients. I’m not feeling good about myself right now and I couldn’t handle knowing I needed one more client. It’s why I called you. You wanted me to come over this afternoon and I declined so I thought that I could invite you to talk now and I could kill two birds with one stone.” He was pleading with me now, “Please, let’s just talk okay? I don’t want to do anything with you. I don’t plan on doing anything with you. I thought we could just talk.”

          “Talk about what?” I asked me moving my hands in the air, “What more is there to discuss? Six years ago, you would’ve never given me the time of day. I don’t understand how now, we’re suddenly reunited and you’re totally fine with talking to me.”

          He took a deep breath and composed himself although I could see that he was ready to explode, “People. Change.” He emphasized, “And as for what I want to talk about, what do _you_ do for a living? How have _you_ been?”

          I sighed and decided that I was kind of stuck staying here for a while so I walked back over to the bed and sat down, “Well, I guess to start, I finished college with a Bachelor’s degree in civil engineering and I work as an engineer’s manager at the Kyla Corporation in downtown LA.”

          “Wow, you sound pretty important!” Sean said sitting forward a little bit, “What do you do there?”

          “I basically do all of the paperwork and such…I spend more time working for my job than I do anything else.”

          “And why’s that?” He asked curiously.

          “I was always taught that your job is the most important part of your life so I always treated it as such. It’s why my relationship failed.” I replied.

          “Oh,” he said looking down, “I’m sorry.”

          I laughed slightly and I caught him off guard. I rubbed the back of my neck and said, “I feel like I should be sadder though than what I actually am. Like, we were together for three years and here I am, not really too shredded by it. Yeah, I’m upset because I thought I was going to marry her but yet, I’m also not upset at the same time.” I paused for a moment, “About six months ago, we closed on a house which is a lot bigger than we had needed but we thought ‘hey, we’re planning a future so why _not_ buy it’. Long story short, she moved out because my name was on the mortgage payments and well, I get lonely.”

          “But what about your friends that you were with last night?”

          I shrugged, “I hang out when them sometimes but I work nine to five days all week and am so exhausted by the time I get home that I barely make myself dinner before I’m passing out on the couch with my dog.”

          “Sounds like the way life should be.” He said sadly, “Not selling your body just to make ends meet.”

          “Yeah…”

          The cloud of tension around us became thick in a sudden apparent moment of realization. We both, I don’t think, knew what to say to each other and maybe that was okay.

          Sean just sat there looking around the room when he suddenly jumped up and gasped, “Oh, shit.”

          “What?” I asked confused.

          “My shift was over five minutes ago and I needed to turn in the money I made to my boss.”

          “You don’t keep it?” I asked furrowing my brows.

          “No,” he said sadly, “He takes in the collection of money you make and takes 5 percent of it for himself.”

          “So how much do I owe you then?” I said reluctantly because I really didn’t feel like paying for just having a conversation with him.

          He crossed his arms over his chest and thought for a moment, “Um…just give me $100 and I’ll tell my boss that you only wanted a blow job.”

          “Oh my God.” I said coughing and feeling my skin flush red.

          He just laughed.

          I fished into my pocket and opened my wallet, fishing around until I got to my secret stash of money that I kept hidden for emergencies: well, I guess this was time to dig into it. I pulled out a crisp $100 bill and handed it to him, “Here.”

          Without realizing what I was doing, I held onto the bill tighter than I thought and Sean had to force it out of my hands, “So, are you off tomorrow then?” Sean asked folding the bill and putting it in his pocket.

          “Yeah, why?”

          “Can we go get coffee or something?” he asked with a smile, “I feel like we could really hit it off as friends.”

          I felt myself involuntarily smile and I said back, “I’d like that.”

          He brushed past me and then turned around. He ruffled my hair up slightly and then unbuttoned a few buttons on my flannel, making my shirt look disheveled, “It makes it look better for me, sorry if it makes you uncomfortable.”

          He opened the door and slipped out in front me and I followed him back down the hallway to a still crowded club area filled with wasted men looking to get lucky with some strippers.

          “Hey, if you need a ride home,” I started, “I drove here and I can take you home.”

          He looked up at me and nodded, “Okay, I just need to go turn in my money and get dressed. Meet me outside. I should be out in like ten to fifteen minutes.”

          He pat my arm before quickly disappearing through the dense crowd and going through a door that read, PERFORMERS ONLY BEYOND THIS DOOR.

          Turning around, I made my way through the sweaty bodies and half naked men before arriving to the doorway and pushing through them. As I was walking out, I was grabbed harshly by an older man who was red faced and angry, “You think you can take my boy away from me?”

          I shook my head, confused, “What are you talking about?” I asked in an angry tone.

          He pointed his finger at me, “You know who I mean.” He said, “Jack!”

          I shook my head more clearly, “No, sir, you’re mistaken. I’m not taking—“

          “Bullshit!” The guy screamed at me, “Jack is mine, you hear me! I will not allow for another man to take him.”

          Suddenly, the door sprung open and Sean came running out in a pair of jeans and a baggy sweatshirt, “Jerry, stop!”

          The old man turned around to him and began to force himself on Sean, wrapping his arms around him and kissing his forehead. I could tell Sean was uncomfortable but I felt like I was powerless.

          But something inside me snapped as I heard a slight shriek as the man forced his hand down Sean’s pants. I grabbed the man by the back of the shirt and hurled him to the ground. Sean stood there with his hands over his mouth, shocked beyond words of what just happened.

          The man sputtered something out of his mouth and got up, walking away while he yelled the words, “Worthless whore!” back at Sean over his shoulder.

          When I turned and looked at Sean, he had tears running down his cheeks and he looked stunned. I slowly made my way up to him and went to touch his shoulder in comfort when he threw himself at me and hugged me, harder than I’ve ever been hugged before.

          “Thank you for that.” He whispered into my neck.

          “No person should have someone else’s hands on them like that.”

          He pulled back and let me go, wiping his cheeks with his sleeves, “This was what I meant when I said that some clients see me more as their paid service provider.” He shuddered and said, “He was the one made me feel horrible about myself tonight. He paid to have sex and he was way too rough and unstable for my liking. I have bruises on my hips and chest and it’s not something I’m okay with.”

          “Why didn’t you say something when he got too rough?”

          “Because it doesn’t work that way,” Sean said back, “It just doesn’t but I don’t wanna talk about this right now. Can you just take me home?”

          I nodded my head, “Yeah, my car is this way.”

          I guided him down the street a little ways to my small black car and I unlocked it as we both got in. He sat in the passenger side and I heard him shudder as a few stray tears left his eyes again. I chose to not mention them as I started my car and drove away.

          As we continued driving, I took the normal route to my own house when told me to take a right and that it was the third apartment building on the left side. I pulled into the driveway where three other cars were sitting and parked.

          When I turned to Sean to say goodnight to him, I noticed he was covering his eyes with his hands and was crying silently. I instinctively reached over and touched his arm, which made him jump. He looked over at me and a sob left his mouth as he hung his head down.

          “Is this about what just happened?” I asked silently.

          He shook his head, “No,” he said quietly, “I just have a lot on my mind.”

          “Are you going to be alright?” I asked in a calming voice. He nodded his head and sniffled.

          “Yeah, I’ll be okay. I’ll talk to you later.” He opened the car door and got out. Before shutting it, he said, “Did you still want to go out for coffee tomorrow morning?”

          “If you still are.”

          He smiled at me with glassy eyes and said, “I’ll call you in the morning.”

          He shut the door behind him and adjusted his sweatshirt as he headed for the stairway to the apartment. I slowly backed away from his driveway and back tracked down his road to make sure that I got home safely.

          Once home, I let Chica out to use the bathroom and stood outside with her as I felt the chill of the night air blow against my skin. Sitting on the porch while watching her, my phone went off and I looked at the message:

          **Sean:** _Thanks again for doing what you did tonight. Wanna meet around 8 tomorrow? I have to be to work at noon._

Smiling, I answered back:

          **Mark:** _Okay, see you then!_

***

          “So, on average, how much do you make a night?” I asked curiously as Sean sat across from me and blew on his coffee to cool it down.

          He looked up at me with those baby blue eyes and the corners of his mouth formed into a slight smirk, “It depends.” He said matter of factly, “I normally charge by the hour but that can change very quickly. Like, if the person just wants a blow job then I’ll normally charge a hundred but if they actually want sex then I charge anywhere between $300 to $550. If I top then it’s less but if I bottom then it’s more. I also charge little things here or there so it’s an additional $25 to kiss, and additional $100 if they want a blow job and sex. It gets really complicated but I normally walk away with an additional fifteen hundred in my pocket once my boss takes his share.”

          “You’re an expensive guy then?” I said with a smirk.

          He shrugged, “What I can I say? I have very high standards.”

          “How many clients do you have a night?” I asked, taking a sip of my coffee that was growing cold.

          Sean and I had met up at the local coffee shop but when we noticed how packed it was on a Sunday morning, we vacated the shop with our coffee’s and headed to the local park where we have been sitting on the grass while others did their morning runs and walks. It was a lot less busy and a lot more secluded.

          “My quota is three but sometimes I have more. I’m not allowed to have less. Which is why I needed you last night. I needed you to be the third and I was not willing to have another random guy. Jerry ruined me for a while.”

          “If he treated you so badly, why didn’t you stop it?”

          “Mark, I already told you that it’s not the way things work around there.” He said in a frustrated tone, “I can’t just say to him, ‘I don’t want to do this anymore because you’re too rough’ because the minute I do, I’ve failed my duties and my value has declined. I’m the top escort for my company right now. I’m requested all the time and most of the nights that I walk into work, I’ve already got my three appointments booked for that night.”

          “You sound miserable.” I said staring at him.         

          “Well, I try not to. I’m not miserable.” He said softly, “I’m just disappointed that I’ve had to come to this point in my life.”

          I reached out and put my hand on his arm, “Why don’t you try a new beginning? Your divorce is being finalized…maybe you can go back to college?”

          He looked up at me and I saw a sadness in his eyes and I wanted to retract my words in case I hit a sore spot within him, “I can’t do that.” He said in a whisper, “I’m under contract.”

          “For how long?” I asked seriously.

          He shrugged, “I don’t know. I signed it without reading it.”

          “Oh Sean…”

          “I was in a rough time in my life, Mark!” He said raising his voice in a surprising manner, “My marriage was failing, and I could barely afford my rent payments and my wife — ex-wife— was constantly on my ass about everything because I was always the one in the wrong. I was scared because I was losing everything. My life was spiraling down the drain before my very eyes and I had no control. I did my research so it wasn’t like I didn’t know what I was getting into but it was all I had left. It was only option.” He paused, “And on top of that, my lease is up for my apartment in three months and I haven’t even been approved for any that I’d applied to get. Signe is already well on her way with moving out but I’m stuck in this constant loop of what the hell do I do?”

          “You can come and live with me until you get back on your feet.” I answered in an honest agreement that I was willing to make. Sean sounded like he was in a pretty rough space in his life and I was more than willing to help him out. We maybe have only reunited a few days ago but I already feel like we’ve known each other for years. It’s strange how life works sometimes.

          “I wouldn’t want to intrude.” He said with a slight blush, “It’s not like we’d know each other very well.”

          “Well,” I said to him, hoping to change his mind, “I have a big house and I get pretty lonely there knowing that it’s just my dog Chica and I living there. You wouldn’t be intruding on anything and it’s the least I could do to help you.”

          He looked up at me and blush crept through his cheeks, “Okay, I’ll think about it.”

          I smiled back at him and said, “Okay.”

          We sat in the park for a little more time as we both finished our coffee. We told funny stories of the past few years and it all become one big happy conversation between us.

          But it also felt like more.

          I was beginning to feel my crush flare back up and I was having a hard time controlling it around him. As we left the park and were walking towards my car so I could take him back to his apartment, his hand brushed against my own and I felt the instant spark between our skin. We both gasped and looked at the other as we realized how it felt between us.

          His blue eyes still mesmerized me after all these years and although his face has filled with age, I still found my crush for him to very much there. Without realizing what I was doing, I stared at Sean for an awkwardly long amount of time.

          But Sean didn’t seem to notice. A few moments later, Sean’s lips were pressed against my cheek as he whispered, “We should do this again sometime.”

          We separated and were ready to get into my car when he checked the time on his watch and realized that he was going to be late for work. We had let the time get past us. He said goodbye to me and well—the minute he was gone, I missed him and wanted him to be there again. I wanted him to talk to me more.

          There was just something to amazing about him that made me addicted, even after these six years.

          And my addiction was not one to be stopped.

          ***

          It was Friday night of the following week when I saw Sean again. I had had a rough couple weeks at work and needed a night to unwind. Sean and I had texted each other in the meantime but tonight, I really just needed to see his face and unwind with some drinks and I thought maybe he’d feel the same.

          I was wearing my work clothing when I walked into the vicinity of the club. The lights were dim and as music bounced the floor, I was quickly able to spot Sean. He was standing near the stage with a guy who appeared to be looking for a good time. So I knew I needed to act fast if I wanted to spend some time with him.

          I quickly walked over to Sean and his face lit up when he saw me, “Hi, Mark!” He said with a smile. He quickly turned the guy who he was standing next to and introduced us, “Mark, this is my friend Tyler. Tyler, this is my friend Mark.”

          I waved hi to Tyler but didn’t say anything. Instead, I turned to Sean and I made motions with my hands but he didn’t understand what I meant and I was getting embarrassed about knowing I’d have to say it out loud.

          “So, I was wondering if you were free.”

          “For an appointment?” Sean asked with a cocked eyebrow.

          “Yeah.” I said with a slight cough.

          Sean laughed at me and then reached out and grabbed my hand in his, “Yes, I am free actually. Follow me.”

          He winked at me in a way that I’ve never seen him do and I was suddenly wondering what the hell was going to happen.

          What was I doing?

          When we entered the room, I instantly felt my libido kick into overdrive and my high school self-take over as I looked at him. I could feel that lust was clouding my vision and I couldn’t tell what I wanted anymore.

          “Mark?” Sean asked reaching for me, “Are you okay?”

          “Would we be crossing a line if I said that I may want to pay for some of your services tonight?”

          He crossed his arms over his chest and smirked as he said, “What kind of services?”

          “Well, can I start with a confession?” I said feeling my mind cloud over.

          “Depends what it is.”

          “I’ve had the biggest crush on you ever since our kiss and well—“

          “Mark.” He interrupted me.

          “Yeah?”

          “I’ve had a crush on you too.”

He edged forward towards me and I could feel his breathing on my lips. I didn’t have enough time to process the information until his lips were on my own and my mind was clouded with the thought of how I was kissing Sean again. And how it was so much better than the night at Steven Adler’s Party.

Our kiss started off as just a typical peck but as we continued it, the heat rose and so did our motions. I was suddenly laying on my back on the bed as he straddled me, my hands on his slender hips as he was ravishing my mouth with his own.

“Mmm.” He sighed as he pulled back, “That was one of the best kisses I’ve ever had.”

“You’re just saying that.” I replied as I kissed down his neck on his collarbone.

“Hang on,” He panted, “I need to go over the rules with you.”

I stopped in my tracks, “There are rules.”

“Yeah,” He replied, “First rule is that you cannot leave marks on parts of my skin that are visible during the day time. Second rule is that I have to comply with your demands and what you want me to do, no questions asked. Third rule, you have to wear a condom. It’s the rule I stress the most.”

“That’s all?” I asked.

He nodded and I pressed my face into his neck as I began to kiss on the tender skin. He moaned as he held my hair between his fingers and I smiled with content.

Feeling his hands trail down my stomach and onto the top of my pants, I felt him hesitate, “Am I allowed to touch you?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t you be?”

“Some clients would rather not have me touch them, ‘is all.”

I felt him unbutton the top button on my pants and for some reason, my body snapped out of the dreamlike trance that I had and I bolted up right, gently nudging Sean away from me, “Stop.”

“B—but you j—j—just said…”

He stuttered his words and he looked like a reprimanded puppy as he sat back on my legs.

“Are we crossing a line?” I said softly, “Are we going too fast?”

He cocked his head to the side, “What do you mean?”

“We just reunited a few weeks ago and I don’t know if _this_ what we should be doing. Are we crossing too many lines?”

He shook his head and I felt his hands touch my stomach with light fluttery touches, “No, Mark, it’s nothing like that. Sex is such a mechanical thing nowadays. It’ll be okay. No strings attached. Just sex between us. I do it all the time. It’ll be fine.”

I took a deep breath and nodded, “Okay.” I whispered as I reached up and grabbed the back of his head, pulling him to me again.

As our lips meddled against each other’s again, I couldn’t help but feel like this was going to end badly for us both because I was damn near sure that my feelings for him were leaning more towards love than a friendship and this is just going to just fuel that fire.

Or it could go the other way where a one night stand might be the best things for us.

He finished unbuttoning my pants and I felt his hand reach down the front of them as he palmed me through the fabric of my underwear. I instinctively moaned into his mouth as I felt him push the fabric aside that was in the way and his bare skin come into contact with my own.

He smiled into the kiss and then pulled back, “You’re really big.” He whispered, “Bigger than anything I’ve ever had.”

“I’m sure you say that to everyone.” I whispered back with a smile.

Before I could even react, his mouth was covering the tip of my arousal in one swift motion. I moaned out louder than I normally would’ve and fisted my hands into his hair as he sucked hard. Looking down at him, he had his eyes closed and he could only fit about half of me into his mouth while he worked the other half with his hand. He sucked hard on the tip as his cheeks hollowed out and it was the most erotic sight I’ve ever witnessed.

It was also the best blow job I’ve ever gotten too. That’s without a doubt.

I felt all too soon the heat pooling in my abdomen and I was scared of being done too soon so I stopped him, “Mhm, pull off Sean.”

          He pulled off quickly and then pressed a kiss to the tip before looking up at me, “Did I get you too close?”

          “Just get up here.” I said grabbing his shoulders and pulling him up to me. I pressed my lips to his and couldn’t help but feel even more aroused at the swollen and slick way his lips felt against my own.

          “We’re a little overdressed, don’t you think?” Sean said breaking away.

          I nodded my head.

          Sean wasn’t wearing a shirt but a pair of suspenders and pants so I quickly helped him strip them off, taking note that he was not wearing any underwear underneath them and his heavy arousal popped out and slapped against his belly.

          Sean took my shirt and undid the buttons for me while I helped him lower his pants and I slipped off my clothing so we were both stark naked on the bed.

          He straddled me once more and I felt our arousals touch and slick next to each other. I took them both in my hand and pumped a few times before he grabbed my wrist and stopped me, “Okay, big guy. If we keep up the foreplay, it’ll be over long before it started.”

          “Where are the condoms?” I asked looking around the room but not seeing anything in sight, “And the lube?”

          He leaned over the side of the bed and I sat up slightly as I watched him pull out a box. He opened it up and searched through a bunch of condom wrappers and grabbed one and then grabbed a bottle of lube. He shut the box and put it back under the bed. He sat up and handed them to me.

          He yelped slightly when I pushed him off from me so he was lying flat on his back, fully exposed to me. His legs were spread open and he was lazily stroking himself.

          I popped open the bottle of lube and squirted a little bit on my fingers and rubbed it to warm it up before I reached down and teased him slightly, rubbing my fingers up and down his entrance. He moaned slightly and I could feel his tugging as he fisted the sheets around him, “What are you doing?” He asked out of breath.

          I slipped the first finger into the hilt and waited a minute before moving and talking, “I’m prepping you so you don’t get hurt.”

          He moaned again and his back arched as I began to move it in and out, “No—no one has ever—“

          “No one has even done this?” I asked surprised as I hooked my finger, in search for the special spot.

          He shook his head.

          “But doesn’t it hurt?”

          He shrugged, “No, not really.”

          I pulled out slightly and added a second finger. He hissed between his teeth and I looked up to make sure he wasn’t in pain. His face had a look of pure bliss and his mouth was slightly open. I moved around my fingers and hooked them up, feeling the little bundle of nerves that I’d been dying to hit.

          When I touched them, his back arched off from the bed and he moaned out in such a way that a porn star would be proud, “Oh shit! Oh my God.”

          “Have you never felt that before?”

          He shook his head, “No, I’ve heard about it but no one has ever hit it.”

          “Well, now I know I’ll be—“

          “Oh god, Mark, just fuck me already!”

          I was a little skeptical about not using a third finger because I knew I was slightly wider than the average male and I didn’t want to hurt him but I was painfully hard and he looked like he was going into a sex induced haze and I couldn’t wait any longer.

          I grabbed the foil wrapper and ripped it open with my teeth, taking out the condom and rolling it down my length. I grabbed the bottle of lube and squirted a tiny bit onto my sheathed arousal and smoothed it over the top. Taking a tiny bit more, I rubbed a bit more onto his entrance to be sure and then I took the time to rub my tip to tease.

          “Oh my god, just shove it in.” Sean said with a laugh that broke the sexual tension between us. I’ve never had someone laugh while I was in the middle of sex.

          I lined myself up and pushed in the tip, gasping at how impossibly tight he was. I was not going to last long if this was how it was going to be. I think he felt the same because his skin flushed and as I leaned forward more on my hands, continuing to slowly push in, and his breathing would fluctuate and he would moan every couple of seconds.

          He suddenly grabbed my back and forced me to him. Our lips collided in a passionate kiss and I felt his nails scratch down the length of my back as I began to thrust in and out. He was panting and moaning so much that he couldn’t keep his lips on my own for more than a few seconds.

          But it was over far too soon because he suddenly arched his back so his chest touched my own and I felt his channel tighten around me as he released between us. I came soon after into the condom and fell onto him with pure exhaustion over taking my body.

          I went to pull out when he suddenly stopped me, “No, don’t. I wanna stay like this for a moment.”

          “Sean,” I said shaking my head, “I can’t. We shouldn’t have…I need to go.”

          His eyes cracked open and he looked at me in sadness, “Why are you leaving so…”

          “Isn’t that what they do?” I asked sitting up and pulling out, removing the condom and tying the end of it, “They give you a quick fuck and then leave, why is that not the same for me?”

          He sat up and I could see his eyes turn to glass, “Because this isn’t the same, Mark.” He said with a crack in his voice, “I know you, I wanted you too. That doesn’t happen for me.”

          I shook my head, feeling instant regret fill my body at what just happened. I don’t just sleep with anyone and I certainly didn’t feel right about sleeping with Sean. Not like this.

          I needed to just leave and not see him for a few days. I needed to get my feelings for him in line before I let anything else happen. And, on top of that, he just told me yesterday over text that he was taking my offer to move into my house until he got on his feet. Well, what would happen now? Would we turn into friends with benefits? Would our feelings just over take us to the point of no return? Kind of like what just happened? I was on the verge of having a full on mental breakdown.

          I didn’t even realize that I had dressed myself and opened the door until I heard Sean yell my name, “Mark, don’t leave me, please!”

          “Sean, I think we made a mistake tonight.” I took out my wallet and pulled out a wad of cash that I counted and equaled $500. I threw it at him and said, “Here’s what I owe you and then some. I’ll talk to you later.”

          As I walked out of the door and began to shut it behind me, I heard the heart wrenching sobs that came from the other side as I realized that I truly hurt him and I didn’t even mean to.

          I’d ruined the one chance of redemption that I’d had with him.

          And, maybe that was for the best. We hadn’t seen each other in years. In high school, he never spoke to me after our kiss. We suddenly acted like lifelong best friends and maybe this is what we needed to break our sexual tension.

          ***

          The next week went by with no words from Sean. I tried sending him a test text message with a simple ‘hey’ and all it read was that the message had been seen by him.

          The following week went the same way and I found myself getting involved a lot more at work and with my own friends again. Felix, Ken, and I all began to spend more time together. We went out to dinner often and we began to really connect again. It also shocked me to find out the during this whole ordeal between Sean and I, Felix had begun dating a guy who went by the name of ‘Cry’, I thought it was odd too, but then when I was introduced with him, I grew to really like him. Ken and I even began to connect more than we used to and grew into an even deeper friendship.

          Then two months passed, and I still didn’t hear from Sean. I stalked his Facebook one day and saw that his relationship status was officially changed to single and I figured that his divorce was finalized. I wanted to text him and talk to him but I was nervous that he wouldn’t answer me—he hadn’t yet anyway.

          That was until one night, around three in the morning, I was peacefully sleeping in my bed when my phone rang and I fumbled trying to reach it. Picking it up, I answered ‘hello’ before even clicking to answer it. Laughing to myself, I answered it the proper way and barely got a ‘hello’ out when I heard a panicking voice on the other end.

          “Mark, I—can you come pick me up?”

          “Sean?” I asked jolting up slightly in bed, surprised at why he was calling me this late at night, “What are you doing? Do you know what time it is?”

          “Yeah,” He paused, “Can you come pick me up?”

          “Where are you?” I asked skeptical.

          “At the Los Angeles Police Station. I need you to bail me out.”

          Oh mother fuck this was not happening right now. He was seriously _not_ calling me to have me bail him out.

          “Why should I come and bail you out?”

          “Mark, I really need you.” He started crying on the other end, “Please.”

          Sighing to myself, I gave in, “Fine, I’ll come and get you.” Hanging up, I swore to myself.

          _Jesus Fucking Christ. What the hell am I getting myself into?_

          Putting on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, I rushed out of the door and made my way to my car. I was beyond exhausted from being woken up but I willed myself to just get to the police station safely. So driving there was totally a hazard. I honestly don’t even know how I made it there without hitting another car or a person.

Breathing a sigh of relief, I pulled into the driveway for the local police station and parked my car. Ripping my key out of the ignition, I ran inside. I got to security and they patted me down as I patiently waited to see Sean. If this wasn’t totally embarrassing.

Walking through some glass doors with another officer right behind me, I saw Sean sitting in a chair with his hands handcuffed together. There was a crowd of people situated all around in the chair as well and I sighed. I walked up to the desk that was there and the police officer working there looked up, “I’m here for Sean McLoughlin.” I replied in a whisper, “He called for me to bail him out and I’m looking to do that.”

The police officer shook his head, “He doesn’t have a bail on him. You can just leave.”

I furrowed my eyebrows but ended up just shaking my head and walking away. The police officer came around the opposite side of the desk and undid his handcuffs, “Now, next time, be a little smarter there boy.”

Sean didn’t say anything, instead he just stood up and barreled past me before I could even say anything. I caught up with him when we were outside of the police station. He was wearing a sweatshirt and a pair of skinny jeans but he looked different.

“What the hell, dude?” I asked angrily.

He stopped in his tracks and turned around, “Oh, so now you finally come to me.” He said with a laugh, “Pretty pathetic that it took me getting arrested for this to happen.”

I shook my head, feeling anger course through my veins, “What the fuck are you talking about? I’ve texted you every day. I’ve tried calling you. I’ve done what I can and _you’re_ not answering me.” He began to shake and I was waiting for him to explode but he didn’t. He just stood there and didn’t say anything, “Why did you get arrested anyway?”

He shrugged his shoulders and looked reluctant to tell me.

I just about snapped, “Do not fucking do this!” I screamed at him. He jumped at my words, “I just went out of my own fucking way to pick your sorry ass up from the police station and you’re standing here acting like—“

“What the hell do you want me to say? Want me to do?” He screamed back at me, causing a further scene then what I had anticipated.

“Nothing, just get in the fucking car.” I said, throwing my hands up in defeat as I walked to my car. Reluctantly, he got into the passenger side and sat down in the seat, crossing his arms over his chest.

As I started the ignition and went to throw my car into reverse, I heard the crying and the sobbing next to me and I instantly stopped. When I looked over, I noticed he had his hands over his face and he was shaking violently, “Sean, don’t cry. I’m sorry for—“

He put his hands down and said, “It’s not that.” He choked out, “Mark, you don’t even know how badly I’ve been hurting lately.”

I put my arm out to comfort him and said, “I’m sure that I don’t but I’ve been struggling with conflicts myself.”

“Signe and I’s divorce was finalized and I went downhill so fast.” He said sadly, “I got involved with the bad crowd at the club and tonight, I didn’t even realize that I was being put up for a sting operation and I almost fucking sold a cop a bag of cocaine.” He said with a sob, “I’ve gotten so low.”

Not knowing what to say, I just rubbed his arm and let him cry out his thoughts and feelings. It was awkward…and tense…but I thought that this was all that I could do.

“This was my fault.”

At first, I wasn’t sure who said that but then when I saw his reaction, I knew that I had, “I used you like a cheap whore.” I said, his eyes wincing from my words, “And you didn’t deserve that. Not after the way that night went. What we shared was amazing and I wished that I hadn’t run away like a coward but I was scared to face the same feelings that I had as a teenager.”

He looked at me and nodded, “I was struggling myself but I’ve been so hooked on you that I couldn’t process having you and then losing you. If it wasn’t for Signe, I would’ve talked to you more, tried seeing you more, just doing more with you in general. She knew about our incident—I had told her—and she didn’t like that I was still pinning over you. I’d see you in stores, in town, and just driving around but I couldn’t say anything.”

“I shouldn’t have ignored you these last few weeks.” He continued after a moments pause, “I saw your messages and phone calls but I was too fucking dumb to answer you back. I thought that maybe if I didn’t answer you then you would feel the hurt that I did when you left.”

“So how about we start over?” I asked softly, still rubbing his arm, “Would you maybe like to catch a movie with me sometime?”

He looked at me and his blue eyes got three shades brighter, “I’d like that.” He whispered back.

I suddenly leaned forward and very quickly pecked his lips, so lightly that it was barely there. He pressed back slightly but then pulled himself away. I found myself smiling at him and him smiling back.

Maybe this was what we needed to get back to where we needed to be.

***

If there was one thing I hated about going to the movies at the cinema, it was that I hated sharing the movie with other people. Sean and I were sitting in the movie theater, waiting for the movie to begin on our first date as a group after group of people can wandering in.

Of course a lot of people would be at the movie.

Sean was particularly quiet tonight. He was a chatterbox on the way here but when multiple people came in, he quieted down. He was paying attention to his phone more than me and when I tried making conversation, he just made small talk.

Being the teenage boy that I am at heart, I did the old ‘yawn and put your arm over their shoulder’ move by slowly yawning and putting my arm over his shoulders. He tensed for a moment and then relaxed against me, leaning into my touch, “Way to be a child, Mark.” He said with a laugh.

“Oh, now you’re talking to me.” I said with a laugh.

He looked up at me, “Oh, shit, sorry.” He said wincing, “I’ve had a lot on my mind and I got a text from Signe explaining that she was stopping by tomorrow morning and I’m not exactly in a good place.”

“Do you need me to stay the night at your place so when she comes, you won’t be alone?”

He stared at me and smirked, “Already trying to get into my pants?”

“Kind of already have done that.” I replied back, leaning forward and nipping his nose with my teeth, “Seriously though, do you want me too?”

He shook his head, “I’d rather not cause any more drama between us. She already hates you and I don’t want to stir anything up.”

“That’s fair.”

Our conversation was interrupted by the sound of the credits opening up on the movie screen. We both turned our attention to the movie and let ourselves forget about everything else.

We were halfway through the movie when we both looked at each other and laughed as we realized how bad this movie actually was. Without exchanging words, we got up and walked out of the theater, not even worrying about blocking the movie for the people watching it.

Bursting with laughter, we both stopped on the sidewalk by the theater. Sean was leaning into me and I had my arm wrapped around his waist. Looking up into the sky, I noticed how beautiful all the stars were and without realizing it, I said, “The stars are just as beautiful as you are.”

He looked up at me with a surprised look and I smiled, “You think I’m beautiful?” He asked.

“I think you’re stunning, Sean.” I answered.

Leaning down, I pressed a sound kiss to his lips and I felt his hand connect to my jaw to hold me in place. Who ever said that kissing on the first date is bad luck is an idiot because I could tell that this was exactly what we needed.

Getting into the kiss, my hands grabbed his waist and pulled him closer to me as his arms wrapped around my neck.

“Oh, hi Mark.” I pulled away from the kiss with an audible noise only to look over Sean’s shoulder to see Lauren with Mary and another female. Sean turned in my arms and blushed.

“Hi, Lauren. How have you been?” I asked with slight blemish in my voice.

“Really good, I see you’ve started seeing someone?”

 I nodded my head, “Yeah, this is Sean.”

Sean picked up his hand and waved in a slight motion.

She walked over to Sean and stuck her hand out, Sean grabbed it but I could tell he was hesitant, “Hi, Sean, I’m Lauren, a friend of Mark’s.”

No, no you are not. I haven’t even spoken to you since the day you left for the second time.

I just faked a smile and didn’t say anything.

“Nice to meet you.” Sean said through forced teeth.

“Okay, Sean and I need to get going so I’ll see you later.”

I grabbed Sean by the hand and pulled him along with me, practically running the other direction to get away from her before she said anything. I knew how Lauren was and I was not ready to face the backlash of it.

Getting to my car, I stopped and Sean panted, out of breath, “That was your ex-girlfriend, right?” Sean asked catching his breath.

I nodded my head, “Yeah, we were together for three years and we lived together in our big house.”

“So, did she know?”

“Know what?”

“That you’re into guys?” he asked with a chuckle.

“Well, she does now.” I said back with a laugh.

Getting into the car, I gave him another quick peck before I dropped him off at his apartment and felt like a high school teen all over again.

Our dates over the next few weeks went pretty much the same way. I’d take him out somewhere, we’d start off as a normal date and then end up making out somewhere, normally in my car.

But then we decided to go back to my place for the first time. Inviting Sean inside, I was skeptical about what he would think. My house was so big but so lonely and under dressed with furniture. It looked pitiful.

Chica greeted us at the door and I’ve never seen Sean become so happy. He dropped down and let her lick at his face and give him kisses and he laughed the whole time. They both looked so happy.

I put Chica outside once she was done French kissing Sean and let her do her business while Sean and I settled on the couch. I offered to put on a movie from Netflix but Sean declined and said he wasn’t feeling like.

I didn’t notice what he meant until he practically leapt on me and began kissing me. Our hands began to roam and if felt myself become aroused but I didn’t know if this was what he wanted from me tonight.

As we became a heated mess of limbs, I pushed him away and lifted him slightly, “Sean, are you sure this is what you want?”

He nodded, “Mark, I’m undeniably attracted to you. I want you so bad.” He bent down and bit my lip between his teeth, pulling on it slightly making me moan. He leaned forward more and whispered close to my ear, “I’ve been thinking about you so much that I’ve been using a dildo to prepare myself for your big cock again.”

That did it.

Within no time, I was pressed between his legs and thrusting inside of him, feeling the tight sheath of heat around me. As we climaxed, I felt the unbelievable tightness increase and I shouted out his name, moaning louder than I’ve ever done before. His fingernails raked down my back and I felt the pain and pleasure from them. He was moaning like a porn star and damn it was intense.

Falling down on him, our hair sticking to our foreheads, I kissed down his neck with slow and gently pecks. Finally feeling my body become overwhelmed with exhausted, I whispered, “Sean, do you want to be my boyfriend?”

I picked my head up and saw him. He clasped his hand on my jaw and pulled me into a sweaty kiss, “Mhm, yes, I do.” He whispered across my lips.

Pulling back again from the kiss, I said, “And would you still wanna take up my offer to move in?”

“As long as it’s still available.” He said back a smirk.

“Oh, it definitely is.” I said just as both of our eyes shut and we fell asleep in a naked tangle of limps on my sheets.

***

Moving in with Sean was not the hard part of our relationship, it was the evenings that took the biggest toll. I worked my normal day shifts and when I came home, I was always exhausted. We enjoyed sex a lot and every time it just got better but when he would go to work and not come home until sometimes two in the morning, I got jealous quickly.

I didn’t want him working that job anymore. Not now that we’re together. I didn’t like how he was sleeping with other men and getting paid for it. My job would keep us afloat, he didn’t need to work that anymore.

I would try and discuss this with him, explain how it made me feel but he would bring up the fact that he was on a contract and he couldn’t break it. I asked him to get a lawyer for it but he didn’t want the trouble. It’s understandable but I didn’t want this life for him anymore.

My breaking point came three months into our relationship, when I got a call from him. He was crying, screaming nearly on the other end, “Mark, help me!” He kept crying and I didn’t know what to do.

“Where are you, baby?” I asked, feeling my own emotions take over and tears spill down my skin.

“I don’t know.” He replied, “I need you, Mark, please!”

“I don’t know where you are.” I replied, “Are you at the club?”

“No,” He answered, “I did a house call tonight but I’m on the street somewhere. Mark, please!”

Oh shit! I didn’t know what to do or how to react. I wanted to help him but I didn’t know where he was, “Sean, what is the street name closet to you?”

There was a pause and he said, “North Beverly Hills Ave.”

Okay, I knew where that was. I could just go and find him, “Stay on the line with me baby,” I said, “I’m coming to get you.”

“Hurry, please!” He cried.

Staying on the line with him as I drove, I comforted him, telling him how much I loved him and how beautiful he is to me. I wanted to help him before I got there because I didn’t know what had happened.

When I sped onto the street, I drove down about halfway and noticed Sean sitting on the curb with blood running down his nose. I barely stopped my car when I jumped out and took him into my arms.

He cried into my shoulder and I could feel the warm blood soaking through my tee shirt. Pulling back, I ripped my tee shirt off and pressed it to his nose. He winced and cried from the pain and I nearly felt my heart became ripped from its place. I looked at him and I noticed the he had a black eye, his nose was black and blue, and who knows what else was wrong.

“Oh, baby, what happened?” I asked.

He shuddered, “I had a house call with that Jerry, the one obsessed with me. And I was going to—Mark, he raped me. He abused me. And I can’t even do anything about it.”

He sobbed harder and I pressed him into me, still holding my shirt to his nose, “This is it, Sean.” I said harshly, “As of tonight, you’re done with your job.”

“But my contract.”

“Fuck your contract.” I said into his hair, “I’ll talk with your boss myself if I need to but I don’t want you working there.”

“I don’t want to work there anymore either” he cried.  

He lifted his head up and took my shirt away from his nose. It looked like the bleeding had stopped but there was a copious amount soaked into my shirt. I took a dry end and wiped the edge of his nose, “Should we go to the hospital?” I asked gently.

He shook his head, “No, just take me home.”

Later that night, we laid together in bed and he fell asleep before me. I tried desperately to fall asleep as well but I couldn’t do it. He had nightmares all night and I kept comforting him. After his last nightmare at around five that morning, I felt my own self began to cry because I wanted to help him but didn’t know how I could.  
          The next day, I dropped Sean off at work so he could terminate his contract. I was expecting the boss to give him hell because of it but Sean came out around a half an hour later with a wad of cash and a smile. He stepped into the car and said, “The boss understood my reasoning’s why and gave me $2000 in cash for my troubles as compensation.”

I stared at him with my mouth agape, “Holy shit.”

“I know!” He said with a smile. He leaned over and pressed a kiss to my lips, “What are we going to do with this money?”

“Let’s just save it for right now.” I replied, kissing him once more.

He put his hand up to my face and held me in place as we shared a passionate kiss.

A few moments later, gunshots rang through the car and the sound of smashing glass happened to be one the last things I had heard in that moment in time.

***  
*Two Years Later*

“Mark, can you move your arm at all?”

I looked up at the rehabilitation nurse and concentrated fully on moving my arm. Sean was sitting to me, coaxing me on with his words of encouragement.

Two years before, Sean and I were sitting in his car when the fatal gun shots had happened. I had thrown myself over Sean to protect him and I took two bullets to the back. One just barely missed my spinal cord and the other hit just ever so slightly and I lost all control of my right arm and leg. I’ve been slowly regaining use of them and today might be the day it happens in full. I’ve been getting better with walking without help and tonight, I’m hoping to move my arm.

Shutting my eyes and wishing hard, I felt the movement and I looked down to see my arm jerk upward a little bit and I began to smile. I was moving my arm! I was actually fucking moving it.

Sean cried out and the nurse smiled at me a big grin. I used all my concentration to put my arm back down and Sean threw his arms around me, “I’m so proud of you, my big doof.”

I snuggled into his neck and felt tears run down my face, happy tears though. He was crying too and I even think I heard the nurse cry as well.

This was such a big accomplishment of mine. I felt like I actually accomplished something.

The shooter of the fateful day ended up being Jerry, the really messed up fucking guy that was obsessed with Sean. He couldn’t handle seeing Sean with someone else so he figured if he couldn’t have him, then no one could. I was in the hospital for a total of four months, three days, and twenty one hours—I counted. And I had a total of six different back surgeries. While there, I was visited by everyone, including Lauren.

Sean had a lot of trauma psychologically. I don’t remember any of it but apparently, Sean had dragged me from the car following the shots and put my on the sidewalk and he yelled for someone to call 9-1-1. They diagnosed him with PTSD and put him on medication because he couldn’t even handle seeing me for a while without having a mental breakdown from that day.

“That’s such a great thing, Mark.” The nurse said interrupting us, “Keep practicing just with baby steps and I’ll have no doubt that you’ll get full mobility back.”

Sean let go of me and placed a big kiss on my cheek. I smiled and wrapped my good arm around him, holding him to me.

I walked out slowly to our new car, Sean has been driving us around lately, and felt like I was on cloud nine. I’ve never been happier in my life. Well, this is the second time that I’ve never been happier. The first was when I asked Sean to marry me in the hospital.

The doctors were nervous for my health because I ended up having internal bleeding around the spine for a while that they had trouble healing. They were nervous that I would go into a septic shock and never wake up. So I, with the surprising help of Lauren, Felix, and Ken, I had them buy a ring for Sean.

One night, while all the nurses were gone from the room and it was just Sean and I, he never left my side, I pulled out the book from under my hospital gown and I asked him. He cried for a good twenty minutes before giving me yes as an answer.

Then the next morning, I had my second surgery.

With the help of Sean, I got into the car and I caught the gleam of a silver band on his fingers and I smiled. We weren’t planning on getting married for a very long time but we’re engaged and I’m okay with that. No wedding planning for us for the next two to five years.

Getting home, Chica greeted me along with her brother Lego, which Sean bought with the $2000 compensation he received. Lego was my ‘Welcome Home from the Hospital’ gift.

Sitting down on the couch, Sean sat down next to me and I looked over at him, smiling. I felt myself wrap my arms around him and suddenly, he screamed, “Mark!”

“What?” I asked.

“You’re using both of your arms.”

Looking down, I noticed that I had both of my arms wrapped around him and I began to cry, “I didn’t even need to think about it and they just did it.”

“Oh Mark!” He cried as he wrapped his own arms around me and cried into my shoulder, “I love you so much.”

Smiling into his shoulder at the miracle that just occurred, I said, “I’ll never stop loving you, Sean.”

**Author's Note:**

> Any and all feedback such as kudos and comments are really appreciated! Any requests for future stories are encouraged so shoot me a message on Twitter or Tumblr under princesslexi763 :)


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